This past week the importance of having friends you can count on was front and center in my life. It started with a trip to Nashville. We had already planned the trip, then I encouraged my husband to contact his old college buddy. During their MBA program at Vanderbilt, they were in a study group with two other young professionals. The four of them were the ‘amigos.’ Sadly, two of the four friends left this world far too early. Tom drove down to Nashville from Ohio, and during our time together we discovered that Tom had been diagnosed with a rare genetic disorder and his own health was in decline. The fact that the last two ‘amigos’ were able to spend time together after many years, was priceless.
Over that same weekend, a woman I have known for at least 25 years sent me a note telling me she was thinking of me and as soon as she was back in California we had to get together for lunch. While we haven’t seen each other in over a year, we stay connected in small ways. Pam is a rare type of friend; we can pick up wherever we left off each time we see one another even if it has been a while. I met Pam because I worked with her husband years ago. We connected through a business function and never looked back. She is down to earth, honest and smart. Who wouldn’t want a friend like that?
It takes effort to stay connected, but that effort is worth it. How often have you made friends with people at work? When someone moves on you vow to stay in touch but sadly most of us do not. The older I get the more I recognize that reaching out, talking on the phone or going to lunch may take some effort but if the friendship is real you should make it a priority. It takes a village to handle the challenges of life. Anyone who thinks they can do it alone is most certainly not reading this post.
How do you stay connected? At a minimum, reach out on birthdays and holidays. If you live fairly close to one another go out to lunch a few times a year. A dear friend from my last company and I get together every few months. I draw from her strength and her positive attitude and I suppose there is something I bring to her as well.
Stay connected on LinkedIn or Facebook or other social media platforms. Another former colleague reached out to me this weekend via LinkedIn. We reminisced about the day we found out a colleague’s son was diagnosed with Leukemia. We rushed from the office, spent a couple of hours running around the hospital campus trying to find our friend and his family. While we couldn’t do anything to make it better, we simply wanted to offer emotional support.
I recently finished watching the last episode of the last season of Grace & Frankie (I am a huge fan!). I felt a tug on my heart when at the end of the episode I heard Grace and Frankie say to one another, “I’m so much better because of you,” “…not only because we went through hell together. No, because we made it back together,” and “you’re my best friend and my partner, and I need you.” I don’t have hundreds of friends, but my husband and family, along with a handful of women I know I can count on, is all I need. I’m so much better because of all of them.
I will leave you with the closing song of that final episode: God Only Knows. Listen to the words of the Beach Boys and think about the ones you love. Stay connected, keep your friends close, stay fabulous and be strong!
