Do you realize that toxic relationships can go beyond a significant other? There are many articles written about unhealthy, toxic romantic relationships – designed to help you recognize, validate and navigate away from a relationship that may be unhealthy and undermining your self confidence. But, toxic relationships can extend to friends, family and colleagues as well. Each should be managed slightly differently – especially colleagues. Unless you are willing to leave your job, you need to find a way to minimize the negativity a toxic colleague can bring to the party. The good news is you can work side by side with this individual if you establish some ground rules.
In his article 10 Toxic People You Should Avoid at All Costs, Dr. Travis Bradberry provides great insight into the most common types of toxic relationships and how to employ a strategy to manage them. I encourage you to read the complete article, as Dr. Bradberry points out: “…toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs. Toxic people don’t just make you miserable – they’re really hard on your brain.” When you are looking for work or looking to make a career change – you don’t need additional stress. Here are the 10 types of toxic personalities, as outlined by Dr. Bradberry – sound familiar?
- The Gossip: gossipers derive pleasure from other people’s misfortunes.
- The Temperamental: they will lash out at you and project their feelings onto you; their lack of control over their emotions makes you feel bad for them.
- The Victim: tough to identify, because you initially empathize with their problems. As time passes, you realize their ‘time of need’ is all the time.
- The Self-Absorbed: you’re merely a tool used to build their self-esteem. You can tell when you are hanging around with this type of person because you start to feel completely alone.
- The Envious: the grass is always greener to this person. They can be dangerous because they teach you to trivialize your own accomplishments.
- The Manipulator: they may treat you like a friend, but they use what they know about you as information to support their own hidden agenda.
- The “Dementor”: highly negative people – the kind of people who have the ability to walk into a room and instantly suck the life out of it.
- The Twisted: they derive satisfaction from the pain and misery of others. The good news is you can spot their intentions quickly.
- The Judgmental: they have a way of taking the thing you’re most passionate about and making you feel terrible for caring about it. They can even stifle your desire to be a passionate, expressive person.
- The Arrogant: they see everything you do as a personal challenge. Arrogance is false confidence, and it always masks major insecurities.
In a workplace you learn to deal with all types of people. I also think it is important to exam ourselves – ask yourself if others could categorize you as (i.e.) judgmental or arrogant. My own self-reflection says, yes – if I don’t feel strong and confident I can lapse into toxic behavior. This is why I believe confidence (not arrogance) is key. A great quote in Dr. Bradberry’s article reminds us:
“People inspire you or they drain you – pick them wisely.” – Hans F. Hansen
Be strong!
