Are you currently employed, but looking to make a change? Having a job search buddy is critical. You will benefit from having a support system throughout the process. Are you unemployed and need a job to pay the bills? You will really, really need a support system throughout the process. We have talked about your physical well-being – now it is time to discuss your mental well being.
Confide in a family member or friend as to what you are going through, and ask if you can call upon them for support and advice. Meet for coffee, or cocktails, or talk on the phone – don’t live in isolation. If you don’t have someone in your life who you feel can provide this type of support, it’s OK – that is what this site is about! Share your experiences, your frustrations and your wins (!) with me. I can be your job search buddy! If you want to bounce ideas off of me, feel free to leave a comment on Facebook. The intention of this site has always been to create a community of women who can share, vent, and listen to one another as we go through this challenging, and often times very frustrating process.
In my case, I was unemployed and my then partner (now husband) was living and working in Europe. There is additional stress that comes from being in a long distance relationship, but in this case the time zone difference worked in our favor (or realistically, worked in my favor). By noon my time, I had been job searching for a few hours and was usually already frazzled. His workday was done and he was unwinding for the evening. Fortunately for me, he had the time and the patience to “talk me off a cliff” on many, many occasions. I sometimes felt like a little eight-year old girl essentially saying, “Nobody likes me!” or “Why doesn’t anyone want me on their team?”
My virtual buddy was Liz Ryan. Ms. Ryan is the founder and CEO of the Human Workplace. You can follow her on LinkedIn, or Human Workplace. She is down to earth, inspirational, and her words often inspired me to continue to believe in myself when it felt like nobody else did.
If you struggle with finding someone to talk you off a cliff, write your thoughts down. Keep a journal. Sit on the couch and yell at nobody in particular. Let it out. But, and this is key, allow yourself only a brief period of time to feel sorry for yourself. I say this from experience. When I found myself spiraling down into a deep depression, I would tell myself, “OK you get to cry, and yell and scream for 10 more minutes – that’s it.”
I learned that if you allow the frustration, anger and fear take over it simply does not make it any better. As soon as you are able to pick yourself up, go out in public. This time can be very lonely, so simply being out among people can make you feel better. Feeling in control when you feel out of control can also help. Consider the fact that while you are looking, your mental health may be best served by taking a survival job.
Even when you don’t feel it, always remember you are fabulous – be strong!
Very valuable post! Thanks for sharing!